throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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