the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
