so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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