i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
