We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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