She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
