Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
