just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Cover your peen. We're going out.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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