Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
