You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
