i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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