Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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