smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
