I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You were trust falling into bushes
I would ride that face into the sunset
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
