I just made out with a guy for $7.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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