Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
