That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
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