do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
