the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
