Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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