I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
