Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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