I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
