i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize