I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
