too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
