Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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