So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sext me about skeletons
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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