Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
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Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
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Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize