even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's never too late to be topless.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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