youre lurking in front of me
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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