Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
