eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
