I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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