Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
