im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
