I just threw up on my dentist
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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