My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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