i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
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Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
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All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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