If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize