I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I take back everything I said about communal showers
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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