She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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