where am i from again
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
