My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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