i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We were destined to go to rehab together
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
