why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize