I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
