Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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