I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
