Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
