i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
