3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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