Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
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his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
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I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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