So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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