spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
