I faked an abortion last night.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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