i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Green mimosas i think yes
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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