Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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