dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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