I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
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I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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