Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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