My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
