? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I am spending my child support on dildos
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
