All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
