One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
