it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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