The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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